Garden vacs and other machines that suck

Sinclair C5
Image source: The Guitar Mann
Not so fast! The Sinclair C5 was legally restricted to 15 mph

Some machines really suck (in a bad way) like the Sinclair C5 above, and then there’s the machines that really suck … suck stuff up in a good way, like the mega helpful garden vac.

Have a ponder at our collection of real bad suckers and the good ones too.


Image source: Yastremska
Dishwashers suck

You might be keeping up with the Joneses, but dishwashers suck! They take ages and you have to clean most of the dirty dishes before you put them inside anyway — hello!?

Dyson Vacuum Cleaner

Dyson vac
Image source: Axel Buerkert
Dyson vacuum cleaners suck

They look like something out of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, but Dyson’s vacuum cleaners will suck up everything in sight including your pets and children. Super sucker.

Onion Goggles

Onion goggles
Image source: Hemeroskopion
Onion goggles suck

No more tears when your cutting onions with these mad professor onion goggles. Yes, somebody did actually invent these. Real bad suckers.


Let’s not forget the trusty gobstopper machine, which for a couple of coins will always provide you with hours of sucking fun.

Road Sweeper

Opinion is divided on the road sweeper. Sure it cleans up the streets like your favourite superhero, but it also makes a hell of a racket in the morning. This one sucks good, but sucks.

Garden Vac

garden vacs
Garden vacs - our favourite suckers

Why brush when you can vac? It sucks all day long, mulches up leaves and will clean up your garden faster than you can say, “Is it autumn yet?” This baby’s our favourite sucker.

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