2012 is the year of the London Olympics, so everybody in the UK is inspired to get super fit in the gym, right? Wrong.
Many people will sit at home in their slippers and watch it on TV. If only there were some events for the slipper-wearing armchair Olympians of Great Britain — welcome to the Slipper Olympics!
The British take the biscuit when it comes to moaning and complaining. They train daily by moaning about everything from the price of cheese to the buzzing of bees. If they had to out-moan other nations, they should take the gold medal.
Talking about the weather
The subject the British moan about the most is the weather, it’s either always raining or it’s too hot! Everybody in Britain is a trainee weather reporter, so competing with a Swedish contestant whose only used to talking about snow would be a first round KO for the UK.
Forget the 100m sprint the British are supersonic when it comes to making a cuppa. From young teenagers to old age pensioners, making a brew is as natural as going to the loo for most of the population.
They may like a good grumble, but the British are famed for their good manners and this is translated in their fondness for a good queue. At supermarket checkouts buying tea supplies or at shoe shops buying sensible slippers, queuing is in their blood.
The stamina-crushing 26-mile Olympic marathon is a physical and mental test for most athletes, but have you ever tried watching television for 26 hours? If you have the tea-making skills of a Brit, a comfy pair of slippers and the holy remote, then you may have a chance.
So, if it involves keeping a pair of slippers and a dressing gown on, Great Britain is a nation to be feared. Until that day enjoy watching China and the USA clean up in the real Olympics.