A deck chair on the titanic may have seemed like a great place to lounge away the days, sipping cocktails as the great ocean liner ploughed across the Atlantic, but as it turned out, it was a total disaster.
Choose your deck chair location carefully
Here’s some modern day destinations that appear to be nice sun-traps, but on closer inspection are the worst places in the world to unfold your deck chairs.
Mount Etna, Sicily
Volcanoes might melt your deck chair
It may seem obvious but generally speaking, rolling out your towel on the side of a volcano would be considered a bad idea…except if you happen to be Sicilian. Mount Etna is one of the world’s most active volcanoes and is in more or less constant activity.
The laid back locals have got so used to their island mountain’s fiery outbursts though, that they are content to sizzle in the sun at the beach while the fireworks continue unheeded. In 2000, Etna, started blowing smoke rings – but no one noticed…
Second Beach, South Africa
Avoid shark infested waters when bathing
In the UK, a trip to the seaside brings a risk of frostbite rather than shark bite. For us, the thought of lying on a deckchair next to a shark pool, seems pretty, crazy. But to others from ‘hot countries’, being eaten alive by a razor toothed killing machine is just, ‘one of those things’.
If you get too hot and fancy a paddle – perhaps it’s best not to go to Second Beach in Port St Johns, in the Eastern Cape province of South Africa. It’s the world’s most dangerous beach for fatal shark attacks. One every year since 2007 – think about it – every other beach in the world is safer. Paddle in the sea anyone?
Kamilo Beach, Hawaii
Don't let your deck chair become beach debris
Most of us are pretty careful to make sure that we bag and bin our rubbish before we go home. Man as a species however, is a filthy animal and responsible for pollution on a global scale. Seen from a distance, Kamilo, ‘plastic’ Beach, Hawaii, looks like heaven.
From deckchair level, it’s a vision of hell. At one time the accumulation of debris was 10 feet deep and covered 90% of the beach. Heroic cleanup efforts by local conservationists have made inroads into the trash pile, but more keeps arriving, driven there by storms at sea from a vast ‘garbage eddy’ in the Pacific Ocean.
Copacabana Beach, Brazil
Copacabana - a dodgy place choice for deckchair lovers
Where? Copacabana Beach, Rio de Janeiro. Once the centre of Brazil’s beach culture and the epitome of 1950’s chic, sadly this particular strip of sand has become a very dodgy choice for deckchair lovers. Since Barry Manilow enshrined the beach in song, vice, violence and crime have replaced the ‘music and passion’, so if you want to hang onto your wallet, maybe go somewhere else.
Having said that, the Brazilian authorities are making strides to restore the area to its former glory including spending £200,000 on deodorising a nearby sewage farm. So if you should find yourself sipping a pina colada at Copacabana and smell jasmine – it’s probably masking the stench of something else entirely.
Valdes Peninsula, Argentina
Avoid sunbathing next to three ton seals
The Valdes Peninsula, Argentina, is home to one of the world’s largest elephant seal colonies. These animals are gargantuan. A Southern bull can reach 16 feet in length and weighs in at a mighty three tonnes. During the mating season, alpha males fight it out over the ladies.
After bludgeoning each other with their teeth, and chests, the defeated seal drags itself off to fight another day and to the victor the spoils. Lounge on your deck chair next to the winner and you’ll get more than you bargained for!